Why Negativity Is a Social Killer

Today's post is based on an article in The Art of Manliness.

Negativity is one of the things that Casey Eberhart says you should never discuss on social media, along with sports, politics, sex and religion...which seems to be what most people talk about on social media. But why shouldn't we talk about these things? Generally, what you say about any of these topics is unlikely to change anyone's point of view on the subject and may quite likely alienate half of your friends. And the same applies in real life, as the article spells out, at least in regards to negativity:

If you feel like your social game’s been less than effective, and that people seem less interested in forming a relationship with you than you’d like, it may be because of a tendency to act like an Eeyore around others.

Why Is Negativity Such a Buzzkill?

As we’ve discussed previously, people want to form relationships with those who seem like they’ll give more (or at least as much) than they take — folks who will be a social asset, rather than a social burden. Negativity, manifested in a propensity to criticize and complain, serves as one of the strongest signals to others that you’re likely to be the latter rather than the former.

Here’s why negativity reads as a social cost:

• Negativity points to undesirable underlying personality traits.
• Complaints make your life seem problem-ridden.
• Complaints are boring.
• Negativity boomerangs back.
• Negativity is contagious.

Lead With Positivity; Use Negativity Sparingly

Rather, the proper mix of negative, positive, and neutral comments to offer is a matter of order and balance. Here are some tips on how to navigate this dynamic:

• Project a positive mood walking into a room.
• Front-load positive topics into conversation, saving negative/critical/heavy comments ‘til later.
• Don’t (much) discuss your exes on a first date.
• Never “one-down” people.
• Use humor and self-deprecation.
• Sometimes it’s particularly okay to complain/be critical. 
• Pivot to resilience.

 What if you still feel negative when you're in a social situation?

If you’re someone who struggles with negativity, know that while it can be a disadvantage in social success, socializing is, ironically enough, also its best remedy. The more you forget your own problems, and concentrate on helping others have a good time, the better you’ll feel yourself.

Let's all do our parts to make the world a little less negative, both online and offline!

Interesting days

Today - Blueberry Muffin Day, Cow Appreciation Day and World Population Day

Tomorrow - Simplicity Day, Different Colored Eyes Day, Pecan Pie Day and Etch A Sketch Day

Next Tuesday - Caviar Day and Mandela Day

August 11 - Play In The Sand Day, Son and Daughter Day and Ingersoll Day