Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Is "Fake it 'til you make it" a valid strategy?

I've seen pros and cons of the idea of faking it until you make it, but I think it depends on the reason you're doing it. In the con example, the author was using external signs, such as an expensive house and car, to show that she had already made it while in the pro example you're using actions to support your hoped for internal confidence. The difference between "keeping up with (or surpassing) the Joneses" or building your self-confidence.

Faking it until you make it is more about doing something that you're afraid to do but acting as though you're not afraid, than it is an attempt at being deceitful which is what many people believe. Here is a video from The Art of Manliness about it:


Here Brett McKay talks about how to feel like a man and that you can't feel like a man until you start to act like a man.

And here's a quote from the article:
But the problem with conventional wisdom on how a person “becomes” is that it doesn’t work. At least not very well. Nine times out of ten you won’t magically start feeling like a man by simply thinking about becoming a man. So how can you start feeling like the man you’ve always wanted to be? By following the advice given by both ancient philosophers and modern psychologists: to feel like a man, you have to act like a man.
Also:
Modern psychologists have a theory on why acting-to-become is such an effective way of changing who you are and how you feel about yourself: cognitive dissonance. When there’s a conflict between your self-perception and how you’re actually behaving, you experience dissonance or tension, and your brain moves to close the gap by shifting how you feel about yourself to match how you’re acting.
So, to become a man you must act like a man; and to be a success you have to act like a success...this doesn't mean to go out and buy expensive things but to change the ways you act towards success and to especially watch the words you use, such as "I choose not to spend my money on that", instead of "I can't afford it". "Dress for Success" is a valid tactic, you can do it and still remain within your budget.

This also ties in with "I am" statements. You tell yourself that you already are what you're trying to achieve. The brain doesn't know the difference between what is real and what you tell it. It also doesn't understand not, such as "Do not think of an elephant". The "I am" statement is related to cognitive dissonance discussed above. If you tell yourself something over and over, your brain will believe it and will do what it can to make it true.

To build a proper I am statement, it must be something that is possible and it must be positive. "I am not fat" doesn't work because the brain doesn't understand "not", it just sees "I am fat". A better choice is "I am at my ideal weight" and you start acting like it by eating better and exercising...the things a person at their ideal weight would do to keep at that weight.

So, whatever it is that you want to be, go ahead and act like you're already there. Your brain will do what it can to bring how you act and what you think in alignment, But you have to deeply believe that it's already true. You can't just go through the motions...you really have to believe that you're already the kind of person that you want to be. And you need to do the sort of things that sort of person does.

Interesting days


Today - Valentine's DayExtraterrestrial Culture DayPet Theft Awareness DayInternational Book Giving DayFerris Wheel DayDonor Day and Cream-Filled Chocolates Day

Tomorrow - Singles Awareness DayHippo Day and Gumdrop Day

Next Tuesday - International Mother Language Day and Sticky Bun Day

March 14 - Legal Assistance DayInternational Ask a Question DayCrowdfunding DayMoth-er DayScience Education DayOrganize Your Home Office DayPotato Chip DayLearn About Butterflies Day and one of my favorite days of the year...Pi Day

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