Habit 4 - Think Win-win

The first three habits form what is known as the "Private Victory". These three habits are self-development habits, moving you from dependence to independence.

From Wikipedia:

The habits are designed, when you put them in practice, to help you mature as a person. This process of maturing is described below:

Dependence >> Independence >> Interdependence

We all start out life as babies completely dependent on our parents or other person to take care of us. This is a state of weakness and powerlessness.

As we grow up we work to become independent, moving out of our parent's home, earning money for ourselves, etc. A person at this level is able to do things for himself and does not need anyone else to survive.

The greatest human achievements come from people working at the third level, interdependence. This is when people work together to achieve a common goal, and is the level of maturity of many people in a mature society or organization. This is how mankind has achieved things together that no single person could do alone. Interdependence is the state of human development of greatest maturity and power.

As we develop our character as people, we grow in each of the seven areas described by the seven habits. In this process we move up the chart from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Habits 4 - 6 move us from independence to interdependence, or working with others to be able to achieve more than we could on our own. These are the "Public Victory" habits.

From www.stephencovey.com:

Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. 

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really? 

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good! 

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

When my younger son, Nick, and I used to go bowling, we combined our scores and tried to beat our combined score in the next game. We didn't play against each other and we cheered each other on because it was our combined score that counted, not who had the best individual score.

Monday - Habit 1 - Be Proactive

Tuesday - Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind

Wednesday - Habit 3 - Put First Things First

Thursday - Habit 4 - Think Win-win

Monday - Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

Tuesday - Habit 6 - Synergize

Wednesday - Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw

Thursday - The 8th Habit - Find Your Voice and Inspire Others to Find Theirs

Interesting days

Today - Have A Bad Day Day,  Use Less Stuff Day, World Toilet Day and International Men's Day

Tomorrow - Name Your PC Day, African Industrialization Day, Universal Children's Day and Peanut Butter Fudge Day Yum!

Next Thursday - Cake Day Let them eat cake!

December 19 - Look For An Evergreen Day