The Seasons of a Man’s Life: Early Adulthood

This is the second part of a three part series from The Art of Manliness.

While the first part was an introduction to the series, this part and the next focus on the period from the late teens to the mid forties.

Welcome back to our series on the seasons of a man’s life, which describes the universal pattern of phases which underlies adult development. 

Last time we offered a broad introduction to these phases as discovered by the studies of psychologist Daniel J. Levinson and described in The Seasons of a Man’s Life. We unpacked the fact that a man’s biological/social/psychological development does not stop after adolescence, but continues throughout his life, and described the way this development alternates between more stable, structure-building periods, and more transitional, structure-changing periods. 

Today we’ll delve into the specific character of these periods as experienced in the era of Early Adulthood, which lasts from about the late teens until the early forties.

The ages shown below are averages, they can begin and end a year or two earlier or later. And phases, like the seasons, don't begin or end abruptly.

Age: ~17-45 - Early Adulthood 

The era of Early Adulthood starts with the Early Adult Transition (age ~17-22) and ends amidst the Mid-Life Transition (age ~40-45). During this era, a man moves from being an adolescent to being a grown-up — from being a fledgling “junior” member in his family, professional field, and the broader society, to being a more established “senior” member. 

That's a long period of time, with many changes occurring during that time, which is why the first three phases of early adulthood are called the Novice Phase:

Age: ~17-33 - Novice Phase

In addition to delineating the specific phases of Early Adulthood, Levinson also brackets off the first three of them — the Early Adult Transition, Entering the Adult World, and the Age 30 Transition — as a period he calls the “novice phase.” The novice phase of adulthood lasts from about 17 to 33, and constitutes the time in which a man finds his footing and place in the world as an independent grown-up.

We criticize the young men (and women) of today for being devepmetally arrested, but this study, done a half century ago, shows that it takes until the early 30's to develop into a novice adult.

A young man needs about fifteen years to emerge from adolescence, find his place in adult society, and commit himself to a more stable life. This time is an intrinsic part of adulthood. It is not, even in its most chaotic or immature form, a ‘delayed adolescence.’

For those of you with sons in their 20's or 30's (like me), there's hope for them yet.

Age: ~17-22 - Early Adult Transition

As not only a transition, but a cross-era transition, the Early Adult Transition is a significant period in a man’s life. He is ending his adolescent life structure, and beginning the chapter of adulthood.

There are thus two primary developmental tasks during the Early Adult Transition. 

The first is to leave the pre-adult world. As with all transitional periods, terminations, losses, and separations are involved. A young man will in many cases be saying goodbye to his old friends, parents, and hometown as he heads off to college. 

And indeed, at the same time that certain aspects of his past life are ending, the young man will be looking toward new horizons. This is the second primary developmental task of the Early Adult Transition: “to make a preliminary step into the adult world: to explore its possibilities, to imagine oneself as a participant in it, to make and test some tentative choices before fully entering it.”

Age: ~22-28 - Entering the Adult World

Even though Entering the Adult World is a “stable,” structure-building phase in the adult life cycle, it is one marked by much tension. Though all such periods have contrasting developmental tasks which an individual must attempt to balance, the two found within this period are particularly antithetical. 

As with all stable periods, one primary task of Entering the Adult World is to build one’s life around the choices which emerged from the previous period of transition. A young twentysomething wants to move ahead and make something of himself — and that requires picking a certain direction and committing to it. 

Age: ~28-33 - The Age 30 Transition

As we have said, the first structure of a man’s life is always provisional in some way, and while this makeshift quality can at first seem freeing and exciting, the uncertainty attendant to such looseness, sometimes coupled with the stagnation of having many potential options, without earnestly pursuing any of them, can begin to feel more burdensome than fun. 

To the man who has been more exploratory in his twenties, “the insecurity and rootlessness of this life begin to weigh on him.” The bachelor who has been happy in bachelorhood may start to question the way in which he has previously related to women, and begin to feel more internal and external pressure, if not to marry, then to get more serious with his dating. A man who’s moved from one temporary job to the next may find an increasing desire to put down greater roots. On the other hand, the man who has already made big commitments may find they aren’t leading down a path he finds satisfactory, and that he feels ready for some kind of change.

Men often make big changes during this phase:

During this time, a man reappraises his relationships, career path, and lifestyle and considers options for modifying, altering, and/or enriching them. His primary developmental task in the years between about 28 and 33 is to build a new life structure that he will then spend the rest of his thirties investing in. To have a satisfactory Settling Down period (age 33-40), he must make choices that are aligned with his dreams, abilities, and external realities. 

These choices should be more concrete and less open than those in the previous decade of life. They in part involve an attempt to “define a work enterprise and ladder that will carry him to the culmination of his youthful strivings.” If a man grapples successfully with this developmental task, by the end of the Age 30 Transition, he will be more established in the work world and often within his own family, and prepared to make deeper commitments during the rest of his thirties.

It was during this time that I transitioned into a management job with AT&T, moved to New Jersey (although I moved back to California later that year), got married and began having children.

That wraps up the Novice Phase, now onto the Settling Down Period:

Age: ~33-40 - The Settling Down Period

This is the stage where we think a man is "grown up".

During the Settling Down period, a man takes the changes, modifications, and choices he made during the Age 30 Transition, and deepens his commitment to them. “The underlying task is to ‘settle for’ a few key choices, to create a broader structure around them, to invest oneself as fully as possible in the various components of this structure (such as work, family, community, solitary interests, friendships) and to pursue long-range plans and goals within it. A man has a stronger sense of urgency to ‘get serious,’ to be responsible, to decide what is truly important and shape his life accordingly.” 

This overarching task can be broken down into two more specific tasks:

TASK 1. To establish one’s niche in society.
TASK 2. To work at advancement. 

During the Settling Down period, a man is moving from being a novice, “apprentice” adult to a more established fully-fledged grown-up; “It is a time for a man to join the tribe as a full adult on terms he can accept.” He wants to become a contributor to his “tribe” — whether that’s his profession, community, church, or the nation as a whole. Regardless, “everyone during Settling Down is strongly connected to a segment of his society, responsive to its demands, and seeking the affirmation and rewards it offers.” No matter the content of a man’s chosen Dream, and the nature of the ladder (whether literal or metaphorical, concrete or loose) that he sets for himself during the Age 30 Transition, the thirty-something man wants to feel as if he is climbing up it.

Becoming one's own man:

While the two tasks above run throughout the Settling Down period, the second task takes on greater salience in its second half, and the ages from 36 to 40 represent a distinctive phase Levinson calls “Becoming One’s Own Man.” It is a phase which represents the culmination of the Settling Down period, and the climax of the Early Adulthood era as a whole.

There's often an affirmational event towards the end of this period, such as reaching tenure, having a book published, being promoted to a certain level, etc.

Thus, whether their thirties were a success by their lights or not, men usually feel ready to make some shifts and alterations around the time they reach forty. Unfortunately, change isn’t easy during this period. In fact, the Mid-Life Transition can be so tumultuous, that it’s the only period of adult development typically recognized in popular culture, and while it doesn’t have to be such, is known by the label of Midlife Crisis.

Tune in tomorrow for the final part of this series!

Be sure to check out the entire series:

Part 1 

Part 2 

Part 3

 Interesting days

Today - Human Rights Day and Lager Day

Tomorrow - International Mountain Day, Noodle Ring Day and Have a Bagel Day

Month long celebrations:

November 28 - December 31: A Blue Christmas

Next Tuesday - Maple Syrup Day and Wright Brothers Day

 Month long celebrations:

November 28 - December 31: A Blue Christmas

January 10 - Cut Your Energy Costs Day, Houseplant Appreciation Day, Bittersweet Chocolate Day and Peculiar People Day