Gold Star

Not the kind of gold stars that we used to get in school, but Gold Star Referral Clubs.

Gold Star is a business networking group that specializes in helping you grow your business. From their website:

"We're fun, friendly, and do serious business."

 

Gold Star members are Go-Givers.  Gold Star members embrace the Go-Giving culture taken from  the best-selling book, The Go-Giver,written by Bob Burg and John David Mann. This culture of reciprocity is why Go-Givers sell more and have more fun doing it.    
 

You will experience a purposeful agenda that is geared toward giving and receiving referrals. Our visitors say, "It's fun but you get a lot done."

 

Our referral meetings are not overly long.  Meetings only last a little over an hour, usually during breakfast or lunch.

 

You can Cross-Club.  You can visit other Gold Star Referral Clubs as much as you want as long as your industry is not already represented in that other Club. 

 

You won't get fined. We don't fine you for being late, or for not giving a tip/lead, or for missing a meeting. 

 

Gold Star Club leaders have easy guidelines to follow and only serve six months at a time. 

 

You can start a Gold Star Referral Club anywhere in the United States. When you find 3-5 core members and a place to meet, we will help you get a club going.

 

Our absence policy is understanding.  You can use a substitute if you have to miss a meeting.  

  

We educate, train and teach pro-active networking skills. Networking Success Training is given via email free to every member who joins. Gold Star corporate, based in Tulsa, OK, sends weekly business tips.

 

Every week the Club Business Coach teaches a networking success tip. Everything is online and easy to manage in the Member's Room.

 

We love inviting visitors.  Everyone kicks in to help build your club and to increase referrals.

 

Last but not least, we're happy to be different! Gold Star Referral Club members have contagiously upbeat and positive attitudes. We're having fun networking and passing business referrals.

I've attended meetings a few times as a guest and a couple of times as a substitute for an existing member. I'd been planning on joining for awhile and I finally signed up at the end of last week.

And I'm already considering becoming a leader of the club I just joined. The new leaders take office in August and February. There are only 7 members in this group right now, so I guess everyone can be in some kind of leadership position.

My first meeting is this morning. I'll let you know next week how it went.

Interesting days

Today - Raspberry Cake Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day and World Ranger Day

August will be Inventor’s Month, Catfish Month, Anti-Frizz Month, Happiness Happens Month, Water Quality Month, Peach Month, Romance Awareness Month and Fishing Month

Tomorrow - Girl Friends Day, Respect For Parents Day, World Scout Scarf Day, Yorkshire Day, Raspberry Cream Pie Day, International Childfree Day, World Wide Web Day, Rounds Resounding Day, India Pale Ale Day, Earth Overshoot Day, World Lung Cancer Day and Planner Day

Next Wednesday - Lighthouse Day, Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day, Professional Speakers Day and Aged Care Employee Day

August 31 - Trail Mix Day, Franchise Appreciation Day, Love Litigating Lawyers Day, We Love Memoirs Day and Overdose Awareness Day

SendOutCards Convention

Coming up next Wednesday through Saturday is the SendOutCards convention. It's divided into three main parts. On Wednesday there will be 7 workshops, running from 8:00 AM until until 2:30 PM at the SendOutCards corporate headquarters in Salt Lake City.

These workshops are aimed at SendOutCards affiliates:

Workshop 1 | HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL AFFILIATE
Workshop 2 | HOW TO BUILD YOUR TEAM
Workshop 3 | CREATING PROSPERITY
Workshop 4 | SET IT AND FORGET IT
Workshop 5 | MAKING YOUR CARDS A TANGIBLE KEEPSAKE
Workshop 6 | EMPOWERING THE PROMPTING
Workshop 7 | SENDŌGO: THE FUTURE OF RELATIONSHIP MARKETING

There will also be tours of the headquarters. The first convention I attended, in 2013, was in Salt Lake City but I didn't make it out to the headquarters for the tours. But this year I'll be driving up on Tuesday so I can attend the Wednesday sessions and tour the facility.

The second part will be on Thursday and Friday and should be of interest to any business owner or salesperson. These two days are the Relationship Marketing Grand Summit. I've written about it here. 

If you don't want to go back and read the previous blog post, I'll go ahead and recap it here:

There will be 20 speakers over the 2 days, covering topics like:

Mastering the art of human connection
Selling from the heart
Building lifetime relationships
Sales differentiation
Go for no
Real estate success
Making the law of attraction work for you

Tickets to attend the 2 day event live are $149, although I do have a couple of free tickets to give away. There is also an option to watch a live stream for $75 and this also includes the SendOutCards convention on Saturday. If you're not able to watch live, the replays are available until August 13th.

I highly recommend that everybody in business or sales to at least purchase the live stream option, although if you can attend in person you'll get a lot more out of it.

And finally, on Saturday is the SendOutCards convention "The One Thing":

Convention tickets are $299 and include the tour of the facility, the Grand Summit and the convention and the closing party on Saturday night. The workshops are full.

Interesting days

Today - Cheesecake Day, Paperback Book Day, Father-in-Law Day and Share a Hug Day

Tomorrow - Raspberry Cake Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day and World Ranger Day

Next Tuesday - Night Out, Fresh Breath Day, Wiggle Your Toes Day, Root Beer Float Day, International Sailor Moon Day, Farmworker Appreciation Day and Balloons to Heaven Day

August 30 - Slinky Day, Toasted Marshmallow Day, Frankenstein Day, International Whale Shark Day, Holistic Pet Day, College Colors Day and Grief Awareness Day

7 Ways to Sleep Better in the Next Heatwave

Today's blog post is based on a blog post by Dr. Michael Breus and is very appropriate right now:

Most of the United States is just cooling down after a difficult, stifling, sleep-depriving heatwave. About two-thirds of the country was affected by this latest heatwave, which saw temperatures near and above 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and heat indexes even higher. (The heat index measures how the body actually feels, taking into account both heat and humidity.)

This wasn’t the first heatwave of the summer. And it’s not likely to be the last, especially since we’re headed into what are typically the hottest days of the year. As many of us have just been reminded, hot temperatures and high humidity make it a lot harder to sleep. And when you can’t rest comfortably and sleep soundly, that makes everything else you do harder. Let’s take a look at how the body handles sleep and heat, and how you can set yourself up to sleep better when temperatures soar.

It's supposed to be a little cooler this week but back into the low 100's this weekend in Modesto! It was so hot this weekend that I took a trip along the coast from San Francisco to Big Sur on Saturday. It was nice...the temperatures were about 30 -40 degrees cooler than in the valley. But what can we do to sleep better other than taking a road trip?

• Get ahead of the heat spike
• Stay hydrated
• Eat a light dinner
• Nap smart
• Take a warm shower or bath
• Use a cool—not a cold—compress
• Double down on your healthy sleep habits when it’s not scorching hot

The article goes into more detail about each of these steps and it also discusses why temperature is so important to sleep...basically you fall asleep when your body cools off. If it doesn't cool, you won't be able to sleep.

Sleep is highly dependent on temperature. Internal body temperatures play a critical role in sleep onset and sleep maintenance—those are scientific terms for our ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Environmental temperatures—the ambient temperatures in our homes and our surroundings—also affect sleep directly, by interfering with the body’s ability to cool itself down.  

Interesting days

Today - Rain Day, Lasagna Day, International Tiger Day, International Chicken Wing Day and Lipstick Day

Tomorrow - Cheesecake Day, Paperback Book Day, Father-in-Law Day and Share a Hug Day

Next Monday - Work Like a Dog Day, Underwear Day and Oyster Day

August 29 - More Herbs, Less Salt Day, Lemon Juice Day, Individual Rights Day, Chop Suey Day and Potteries Bottle Oven Day

Your weekend guide to interesting days - July 27, 2019

This week

Sunday - Junk Food Day, Lamington Day and Ice Cream Day

Monday - Hammock Day, Penuche Fudge Day, Mango Day and Creme Brulee Day

Tuesday - Peanut Butter and Chocolate Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day and Sprinkle Day

Wednesday - Pioneer Day, Tequila Day, Drive-Thru Day, Tell An Old Joke Day and Cousins Day

Thursday - Chili Dog Day, Thread The Needle Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day, Carousel Day and Wine and Cheese Day

Yesterday - Aunt and Uncle Day, One Voice Day, System Administrator Appreciation Day, All or Nothing Day, Holistic Therapy Day and Coffee Milk Shake Day

Today - Parents’ Day, Gary Gygax Day, Norfolk Day, Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day, Walk On Stilts Day and Scotch Whisky Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next week

Tomorrow - July 28 - Milk Chocolate Day and World Hepatitis Day

Monday - Rain Day, Lasagna Day, International Tiger Day, International Chicken Wing Day and Lipstick Day

Tuesday - Cheesecake Day, Paperback Book Day, Father-in-Law Day and Share a Hug Day

Wednesday - Raspberry Cake Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day and World Ranger Day

August will be Inventor’s Month, Catfish Month, Anti-Frizz Month, Happiness Happens Month, Water Quality Month, Peach Month, Romance Awareness Month and Fishing Month

Thursday - Girl Friends Day, Respect For Parents Day, World Scout Scarf Day, Yorkshire Day, Raspberry Cream Pie Day, International Childfree Day, World Wide Web Day, Rounds Resounding Day, India Pale Ale Day, Earth Overshoot Day, World Lung Cancer Day and Planner Day

Friday - International Beer Day, Ice Cream Sandwich Day and Coloring Book Day

Saturday - Watermelon Day, Mustard Day, Clean Your Floors Day, Sandcastle Day, Disc Golf Day and White Wine Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next month

August 21 - Poet’s Day, Spumoni Day and Senior Citizens Day

August 22 - Be An Angel Day, Burger Day, Take Your Cat to the Vet Day, Pecan Torte Day and Eat A Peach Day

August 23 - Ride the Wind Day, Valentino Day, Cuban Sandwich Day, Sponge Cake Day and Daffodil Day

August 24 - Knife Day, Vesuvius Day, International Strange Music Day, Pluto Demoted Day, Internaut Day and Peach Pie Day

August 25 - Pony Express Day, Whisky Sour Day, Kiss And Make Up Day and Banana Split Day

August 26 - Dog Day, Women’s Equality Day, WebMistress Day and Cherry Popsicle Day

August 27 - The Duchess Who Wasn’t Day, Tug-of-War Day, International Bat Night, Pots De Creme Day and Banana Lovers Day

The week in review - July 26, 2019

Monday - "The 3 Elements of Charisma: Presence" Part 1 of a 3 part series from The Art of Manliness. "Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draw others to you, and convince people of your ideas."

Tuesday - "The 3 Elements of Charisma: Power" Part 2 of a 3 part series from The Art of Manliness. "Powerful people can get things done, or at least they give that impression. Charismatic individuals draw people into their orbit like a magnet, and Power is the crux of that magnetic force."

Wednesday - "The 3 Elements of Charisma: Warmth" Part 3 of a 3 part series from The Art of Manliness. "When you emanate Warmth people see you as being approachable, caring, and empathetic. When they’re around you they feel comfortable and at ease."

Thursday - "Do your habits match your dreams? #TBT" From the SendOutCards Corporate call. "The best things in life take some effort to get them, whether it is health, happiness, or learning a new skill. There is no such thing as the "status quo", so if you're not growing, you're decaying."

Interesting days

Today - Aunt and Uncle Day, One Voice Day, System Administrator Appreciation Day, All or Nothing Day, Holistic Therapy Day and Coffee Milk Shake Day

Tomorrow - Parents’ Day, Gary Gygax Day, Norfolk Day, Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day, Walk On Stilts Day and Scotch Whisky Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next Friday - International Beer Day, Ice Cream Sandwich Day and Coloring Book Day

August 26 - Dog Day, Women’s Equality Day, WebMistress Day and Cherry Popsicle Day

Do your habits match your dreams? #TBT

Today's blog post was originally published two years ago:

This post is based on a SendOutCards Leadership Call from July 17, 2017.

The best things in life take some effort to get them, whether it is health, happiness, or learning a new skill. There is no such thing as the "status quo", so if you're not growing, you're decaying.

If what you're doing doesn't get you out of your comfort zone, there won't be any growth. No pain, no gain. That doesn't only apply when you're building your muscles, anything worthwhile requires some stretching beyond the point of comfort.

What are your dreams and goals? Are you doing the uncomfortable things that you need to be doing to accomplish them?

Most people have uphill dreams...their dreams (like any good dream or goal), requires effort;  but they have downhill habits...they don't do the things they need to do to grow into those dreams. A goal, or dream, isn't about what you'll have when you accomplish it, but it's about who you'll become in order to accomplish it.

So, go after your dreams. But realize that it may be a long, uphill effort to get to them but you'll have a much better view ahead of you when you get to the top of that hill.

Interesting days

Today -  Chili Dog Day, Thread The Needle Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day, Carousel Day and Wine and Cheese Day

Tomorrow - Aunt and Uncle Day, One Voice Day, System Administrator Appreciation Day, All or Nothing Day, Holistic Therapy Day and Coffee Milk Shake Day

August will be Inventor’s Month, Catfish Month, Anti-Frizz Month, Happiness Happens Month, Water Quality Month, Peach Month, Romance Awareness Month and Fishing Month

Next Thursday - Girl Friends Day, Respect For Parents Day, World Scout Scarf Day, Yorkshire Day, Raspberry Cream Pie Day, International Childfree Day, World Wide Web Day, Rounds Resounding Day, India Pale Ale Day, Earth Overshoot Day, World Lung Cancer Day and Planner Day

August 25 - Pony Express Day, Whisky Sour Day, Kiss And Make Up Day and Banana Split Day

The 3 Elements of Charisma: Warmth

Part 3 of the 3 part series from The Art of Manliness. The links to parts 1 & 2 are at the end of this post.

When you emanate Warmth people see you as being approachable, caring, and empathetic. When they’re around you they feel comfortable and at ease. Warmth fulfills the basic human need to be understood, acknowledged, and taken care of — a need rooted in our very being all the way from childhood. Warmth is your mom handing you a cup of hot chocolate as you come inside from playing in the snow or smoothing your hair and giving you medicine as you lie sick in bed. Warmth is your dad pulling you into a bear hug when you show him the A+ on your test. Even though we grow up, leave the nest, and try to be independent, deep down we all still want to feel cared for, accepted, “at home.” 

Just like Power and Presence, Warmth is essential for balancing the other elements and also cannot produce true magnetism on its own. A man with Power but not Warmth will come off as cold, arrogant, and aloof. A man with Warmth but not Power will be perceived as weak, eager to please, and desperate for approval. A drip.

However, the warmth you convey must be genuine:

Warmth backfires when people can tell you’re offering it for one reason and one reason only: to get something from them. Hence our distaste for salesmen who lay the Warmth on thick for the sake of trying to close the deal. It’s not that you shouldn’t want things from other people; pretty much the whole point of charisma is to influence others to do something, whether that’s getting them to buy a product, go on a date, or serve a cause with passion. Rather, it’s simply that influencing them can’t be your only motive. 

For Warmth to come off as genuine it must be rooted in something deeper than a purely selfish motive. It must spring from your own contentment with life and a real empathy and curiosity about other people. A man of real Warmth enjoys getting to know folks from all walks of life; he conveys the sense that even if he doesn’t get from them what he was looking for, he’d still judge the interaction to have been worthwhile. A man of real Warmth is one who feels that crossing paths with another person is never a true waste.

What can you do to develop inner warmth?

Practice gratitude. A grateful heart is a happy heart. Studies have shown again and again that people who practice gratitude on a daily basis are happier and more optimistic than folks who don’t. 

Develop your empathy. Teddy Roosevelt called empathy “fellow-feeling” and argued that it was the most important factor for a healthy political and social life. It’s also an important factor in developing charismatic Warmth. People want to feel understood, and empathy is what allows us to put ourselves in their shoes and feel what they feel.

The article then goes on to share several techniques for developing empathy:

• Think of other people as your brothers and sisters.
• Interact with people face-to-face.
• Read more fiction.
• Imagine a different story about the people who annoy you.
• Be curious about people.

Now that you're practicing gratitude and are developing empathy, how to you convey your warmth to others?

In fact, acting warmly will develop your inner warmth more quickly and effectively than thinking your way to empathy ever will. Don’t wait until you feel like an empathetic person before you start acting like it. By acting, you become. Work on both your behavior and mindset at the same time – they go hand in hand.

So, how do you act warmly towards others?

• Think of yourself as the host.
• Lead with a sincere compliment.
• Put more warmth in your voice.
• Mirror their body language. 
• Relax your posture.
• Open up your body.
• Give them your “kind” eyes.
• Smile, damnit. 
• Anticipate needs.
• Offer something warm to drink.
• Give a good handshake.
• Give people a chance to let you know the effort they put into something.
• Make them feel comfortable.
• Remember dates, anniversaries, and details.
• Give thoughtful gifts.
• Take care of things.
• Ask for help.
• Be liberal with the thank you note.

All I've done is list the sub-headings on how to act warmly. The article discusses each sub-heading in some detail.

Here are the links to the other parts of this series:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Interesting days

Today - Pioneer Day, Tequila Day, Drive-Thru Day, Tell An Old Joke Day and Cousins Day

Tomorrow - Chili Dog Day, Thread The Needle Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day and Carousel Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next Wednesday - Raspberry Cake Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day and World Ranger Day

August 24 - Knife Day, Vesuvius Day, International Strange Music Day, Pluto Demoted Day, Internaut Day and Peach Pie Day

The 3 Elements of Charisma: Power

Part 2 of a 3 part series from The Art of Manliness. Links to the other parts are below.

Charismatic individuals are powerful people. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the leader of the free world or the chairman of a multi-national corporation. In fact, you can find individuals who convey Power in the humblest walks of life. Power, according to Cabane, simply “means being perceived as able to affect the world around us, whether through influence on or authority over others, large amounts of money, expertise, intelligence, sheer physical strength, or high social status.” 

Being able to affect the world around us. Powerful people can get things done, or at least they give that impression. Charismatic individuals draw people into their orbit like a magnet, and Power is the crux of that magnetic force. It’s a primal attraction. Back in our caveman times, our survival could depend on being chummy with the big dogs at the top of the social hierarchy – those who could offer protection, food, and women. To better enable us to seek out and latch onto such people, our brains evolved to cue in on body language and status markers that indicate power.

All three components of charisma must be available. We'll talk about the 3rd component tomorrow.

It’s extremely important to point out here that each of the three components of charisma must be deftly combined in order to produce personal magnetism. You may be the most affable, attentive person in the room, but without Power, people will at best just see a nice guy, and, at worst, someone who’s needy and desperate; it may seem harsh, but generally the value people place on your Presence and Warmth depends on the amount of power they perceive you to have. Here’s a quick example. If you received a compliment on a job presentation from both a co-worker and the CEO of the company, which compliment would mean more to you? If you’re like most people, it’d be the CEO because he’s got the power. 

On the flip side, Power in the absence of Warmth and Presence is a charisma killer. A powerful man who lacks these tempering qualities can be seen as important and impressive, but will come off as aloof, arrogant, and cold. 

The currents of Presence, Power, and Warmth must be harmoniously intertwined to produce truly electric charisma.

How can you boost your charismatic power?

• Boost your confidence.
• Know a little about a lot.
• Become physically fit.
• Dress for power.
• Be the Big Gorilla.
• Assume Power Poses.
• Take control of your environment.
• Speak less and slowly.
• Boost your poise.

There's a lot more information in the article, including an entire section on finding your inner gorilla.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Interesting days

Today - Peanut Butter and Chocolate Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day and Sprinkle Day

Tomorrow  - Pioneer Day, Tequila Day, Drive-Thru Day, Tell An Old Joke Day and Cousins Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next Tuesday - Cheesecake Day, Paperback Book Day, Father-in-Law Day and Share a Hug Day

August 23 - Ride the Wind Day, Valentino Day, Cuban Sandwich Day, Sponge Cake Day and Daffodil Day

The 3 Elements of Charisma: Presence

Today's blog post is the first of a three part series on personal charisma from The Art of Manliness.

No matter your situation in life and your individual aims, one of the most important tools for success is your personal charisma. Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draw others to you, and convince people of your ideas. It’s an essential part of being the kind of leader who wins devoted followers who are willing to go to the ends of the earth for you. Charismatic men are perceived as both likeable and powerful, a dynamic, irresistible combination that opens endless doors to them. 

Charisma may seem like a mysterious quality — something that some men are born with and some are not. But this is happily not the case. You don’t need to have hit the genetic charisma lottery in order to develop yourself into a man with powerful magnetism. 

Far from being a magical and inexplicable trait, charisma can be broken down into a set of concrete, largely nonverbal behaviors that can be learned, practiced, and made natural. Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, places these behaviors into three categories: Presence, Power, and Warmth. When deftly combined, these three components produce strong personal magnetism. 

We will be devoting an entire post to each of these three components of charisma. Each will provide an overview of the component, as well as practical tips for developing and implementing it. Later on, we will cover charismatic body language, and, because not every “style” of charisma is appropriate for every situation, we’ll discuss what behaviors to use or de-emphasize in different situations. 

For today, we’ll start off by talking about the first component of charisma: Presence.

Even though The Art of Manliness is aimed at men, most of it applies to everyone, so just substitute your favorite non-gender specific pronoun and learn how to get charisma in your life.

Charisma Component #1: Presence

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and you could tell you didn’t have their complete attention? 

How did it make you feel? 

Probably a bit annoyed. 

Sadly, it seems fewer and fewer people are fully present and engaged with the individuals they’re interacting with. Being completely engaged in a conversation has likely always been a challenge, as we all have a bit of the conversational narcissist in us. 

Now that smartphones have saturated modern life, being fully present is even harder. People today try to (unsuccessfully) switch their attention between two worlds — the real world populated by the people they are physically present with and the cyber world which sends them dispatches through their phone. Go to any restaurant in America and you’re bound to see tables of people staring blankly at their smartphones and hardly engaging with each other. This video that circulated the intertubes a few weeks ago perfectly captures the way in which technology has created a society of non-present screen gawkers. Pretty poignant. 

The good news about all this is that it’s now incredibly easy to set yourself apart from the pack simply by being fully present with people and giving them your complete attention.

Just what is presence? The most relevant definition was from Definitions:

The state of being closely focused on the here and now, not distracted by irrelevant thoughts

When you're present, you make the other person feel important.

When you think of charisma, you might think of trying to make yourself seem super awesome to others. But the paradoxical secret of charisma is that it’s not about trumpeting your good qualities, but making the other person feel good about himself. Real charisma makes the other person feel important; when they finish an interaction with you, they feel better about themselves than they did before. 

Focusing your mental and emotional energy on someone as you interact is how you create that feeling of importance. People fundamentally want attention – they want to be recognized and acknowledged. 

And you don’t have to be an outgoing, uber-social extrovert in order to have and display charisma. In The Charisma Myth, Cabane cites tech-entrepreneur Elon Musk as an example of someone who has mastered the art of charismatic presence. He’s incredibly intelligent and a pretty quiet guy by nature; however, he counterbalances his introverted inclinations with intense focus and presence. He doesn’t need to be the extroverted life of the party to seem magnetic; instead of chatting everybody up and offering a little of himself to a lot of people, he concentrates on giving his full, intense attention to a few; in so doing, he makes them feel incredibly special. Charisma isn’t necessarily about quantity, but quality. 

Conveying presence is a simple concept, but oftentimes difficult to actually achieve. You can’t just fake it. People are surprisingly adept at deciphering your feigned interest. To truly convey presence, you must actually be present. It takes a significant amount of willpower to focus all your attention on the person you’re with at the moment. But like all things, with practice, it becomes significantly easier.

Below are some tips on developing your charismatic presence:

• Bring yourself to the here and now.
• Make sure you’re physically comfortable.
• Set your devices on silent and put them out of sight.
• Look the person in the eye when they’re talking.
• Nod to show that you’re listening.
• Ask clarifying questions.
• Avoid fidgeting.
• Don’t think about how you’re going to respond while the person is still talking
• Wait two seconds before responding.

There's much more information over at The Art of Manliness, including additional resources, an interview with the author of the book and more information for each of the steps above. Head over and check it out.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Interesting days

Today - Hammock Day, Penuche Fudge Day, Mango Day and Creme Brulee Day

Tomorrow - Peanut Butter and Chocolate Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day and Sprinkle Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next Monday - Rain Day, Lasagna Day, International Tiger Day, International Chicken Wing Day and Lipstick Day

August 22 - Be An Angel Day, Burger Day, Take Your Cat to the Vet Day, Pecan Torte Day and Eat A Peach Day

Your weekend guide to interesting days - July 20, 2019

This week

Sunday - Shark Awareness Day, Pandemonium Day, Mac & Cheese Day and Grand Marnier Day

Monday - Gummi Worm Day, Get Out of the Doghouse Day, Tapioca Pudding Day, Pet Fire Safety Day and Orange Chicken Day

Tuesday - Guinea Pig Appreciation Day, Corn Fritters Day, Fresh Spinach Day and World Snake Day

Wednesday - Hot Dog Day, Peach Ice Cream Day, Yellow Pig Day, Tattoo Day and World Emoji Day

Thursday - Insurance Nerd Day, Caviar Day and Mandela Day

Yesterday - Talk In An Elevator Day and Daiquiri Day 

Today - Moon Day, Lollipop Day, International Chess Day, Space Exploration Day and World Jump Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next week

Tomorrow - Junk Food Day, Lamington Day and Ice Cream Day

Monday - Hammock Day, Penuche Fudge Day, Mango Day and Creme Brulee Day

Tuesday - Peanut Butter and Chocolate Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day and Sprinkle Day

Wednesday - Pioneer Day, Tequila Day, Drive-Thru Day, Tell An Old Joke Day and Cousins Day

Thursday - Chili Dog Day, Thread The Needle Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day and Carousel Day

Friday - Aunt and Uncle Day, One Voice Day, System Administrator Appreciation Day, All or Nothing Day, Holistic Therapy Day and Coffee Milk Shake Day

Saturday - Parents’ Day, Gary Gygax Day, Norfolk Day, Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day, Walk On Stilts Day and Scotch Whisky Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

Next month

August 14 - Creamsicle Day, Social Security Day, World Calligraphy Day and Tattoo Removal Day

August 15 - Relaxation Day, Check The Chip Day, Lemon Meringue Pie Day, Acadian Day and Cycle to Work Day

August 16 - Men’s Grooming Day, Rollercoaster Day, Tell A Joke Day, Airborne Day, World Bratwurst Day and Rum Day

August 17 - Thrift Shop Day, International Homeless Animals Day, World Honey Bee Day, Black Cat Appreciation Day, Break The Monotony Day, International Geocaching Day and Vanilla Custard Day

August 18 - Serendipity Day, Pinot Noir Day, Mail Order Catalog Day and Bad Poetry Day

August 19 - Photography Day, Aviation Day, Potato Day, International Orangutan Day and International Bow Day

August 20 - World Mosquito Day, Chocolate Pecan Pie Day and International Day of Medical Transporters

Week long celebrations:

August 12 - 18: Afternoon Tea Week

The week in review - July 19, 2019

Monday - "No blog post today" I do have a plan to avoid this going forward. "I'm feeling a bit under the weather again today."

Tuesday - "The Science of Facial Hair: What Signals Do Beards, Stubble, and Mustaches Send to Others?" From The Art of Manliness. "Studies have indicated that women find facial stubble the most “attractive” look when it comes to facial hair."

Wednesday - "The (hot) dog days of summer" Unfortunately, the website I used had the wrong date for Chili Dog Day! "What are the dog days of summer and what do hot dogs have to do with them?"

Thursday - "Whose dream are you building? #TBT" If you're working for someone else, you're building their dream. "Leveraged residual income is money that you make repeatedly on the work that you and others have done once."

Interesting days

Today - Talk In An Elevator Day and Daiquiri Day

Tomorrow - Moon Day, Lollipop Day, International Chess Day, Space Exploration Day and World Jump Day

Next Friday - Aunt and Uncle Day, One Voice Day, System Administrator Appreciation Day, All or Nothing Day, Holistic Therapy Day and Coffee Milk Shake Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

August 19 - Photography Day, Aviation Day, Potato Day, International Orangutan Day and International Bow Day

Whose dream are you building? #TBT

Today's blog post was originally published two years ago:

This post is based on a Facebook post from my friend Mary Swarts.

We're trained by society to be the laborers in the dreams of others, whether it's the dream of a small business owner or the dreams of a corporate CEO and the share owners of that corporation.

I don't know about you but I agree with this:

Even though I've spent 37 years building the dreams of AT&T's share owners, I've always felt that I needed to do more to build my dreams. And even though they were often buried in the day to day drudgery that often comes from building the dreams of others, they never completely went away.

So, how do we build our dreams? There are many ways such as investing (which is often risky) or building your own business (which can be risky depending on what kind of business you start). You can start a business based on skills that you already have such as accounting, law, etc. Or you could spend hundreds of thousands of dollars starting a franchise such as McDonald's. According to Business Insider:

Startup costs, which include construction and equipment expenses, average between $955,708 and $2.3 million, according to McDonald's.

 The article further states:

Franchisees must pay 40% of the startup costs with cash and other non-borrowed resources, while the rest can be financed. 

In addition to those costs, McDonald's charges a $45,000 franchisee fee and an ongoing monthly service fee equal to 4% of gross sales. Franchisees must also pay rent to the company, which is a percentage of monthly sales.

One of the best ways to build your dreams is with a network marketing business. The startup costs are low, often under $1,000, so the risk is minimal. And one of the advantages in NM businesses is what's known as leveraged residual income. Residual income is money that you make over and over for something that you did once, such as writing a book or song, or recording a song. Elvis Presley makes more money now than when he was alive. A more down-to-earth example is an insurance agent...they sell you a policy once but collect money from you every month until the policy is cancelled. Leveraged income is money that is made based on the work of others...if you own a beauty shop you make money on the efforts of all the stylists that work for you. A real estate broker is another example...they make money off every agent that works for them.

Leveraged residual income is money that you make repeatedly on the work that you and others have done once.

There are many network marketing companies out there, so you're sure to find something that appeals to you. I know people in many different companies...I'd be glad to hook you up...just email me.

Interesting days

Today - Insurance Nerd Day, Caviar Day and Mandela Day

Tomorrow - Talk In An Elevator Day and Daiquiri Day

Next Thursday - Chili Dog Day, Thread The Needle Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day and Carousel Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

August 18 - Serendipity Day, Pinot Noir Day, Mail Order Catalog Day and Bad Poetry Day

Week long celebrations:

August 12 - 18: Afternoon Tea Week

The (hot) dog days of summer

What are the dog days of summer and what do hot dogs have to do with them?

According to Farmer's Almanac:

The phrase is actually a reference to the fact that, during this time, the Sun occupies the same region of the sky as Sirius, the brightest star visible from any part of Earth and part of the constellation Canis Major, the Greater Dog. This is why Sirius is sometimes called the Dog Star. 

In the summer, Sirius rises and sets with the Sun. On July 23rd, specifically, it is in conjunction with the Sun, and because the star is so bright, the ancient Romans believed it actually gave off heat and added to the Sun’s warmth, accounting for the long stretch of sultry weather. They referred to this time as diēs caniculārēs, or “dog days.” 

Thus, the term Dog Days of Summer came to mean the 20 days before and 20 days after this alignment of Sirius with the Sun—July 3 to Aug. 11.

Well, now we know about dog days but what about hot dogs? I'm glad you asked because not only is today Hot Dog Day, but tomorrow is Chili Dog Day!

I asked for recommendations for hot dogs and chili dogs in Modesto on Nextdoor and I got a few replies. One person recommended Graffiti Dogs and another had heard that they're good and most of the reviews on Yelp are 5 stars. However, 2 people from Nextdoor said they wouldn't eat there again...so I'm not sure about this one yet. Another popular choice was Main Street Footers in Turlock. Again, mostly 5 star reviews on Yelp. Although, Footers is a little out of the way for a work day...it's about 12 miles in the opposite direction from work. I may try Graffiti Dogs, or I may go with my current favorite, Kasper's. However, their Yelp ratings are all over the place, but they ended up at 3.5 stars. Most of the 1 star ratings were because they were closed during what were supposed to be normal business hours. I had noticed that a couple of times myself, but they were open the last time I went.

Here's an interesting take on chili cheese dogs...the Chili Cheese Dog Bake. I'll definitely have to try this one!

Interesting days

Today - Hot Dog Day, Peach Ice Cream Day, Yellow Pig Day, Tattoo Day and World Emoji Day

Tomorrow - Insurance Nerd Day, Chili Dog Day, Caviar Day and Mandela Day

Next Wednesday - Pioneer Day, Tequila Day, Drive-Thru Day, Tell An Old Joke Day and Cousins Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

August 17 - Thrift Shop Day, International Homeless Animals Day, World Honey Bee Day, Black Cat Appreciation Day, Break The Monotony Day, International Geocaching Day and Vanilla Custard Day

Week long celebrations:

August 12 - 18: Afternoon Tea Week

The Science of Facial Hair: What Signals Do Beards, Stubble, and Mustaches Send to Others?

Today's blog post is based on an article from The Art of Manliness. I don't really like beards but I also don't like to shave, so I'm kind of in that Don Johnson Miami Vice state of stubble most of the time. But since the #30DayBeardGrowingChallenge starts in just over 3 weeks (23 days but who's counting?), I figured this is a good time to discuss facial hair.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a yes or no answer to every question of aesthetics? 

It’s certainly how magazines and pop culture presents things when it comes to how a man should or shouldn’t look. 

But that’s rarely how the human brain works. As we’ve discussed before in regards to style, there are definitely some black/white rules, but for the most part each man needs to discover what works best for him. He needs to express himself through his style choices, within some basic frameworks. 

One fascinatingly complex issue that has come back into the spotlight recently is that of facial hair. It’s not something you can break down into basic good/bad or right/wrong strategies. It all depends on the individual. 

Forget anyone who tells you that beards are a 100% guarantee to be an alpha male lady-killer. Also forget anyone who says they’re an automatic job-loser and impossible to pair with a business suit. 

It’s just not that simple. 

With a little bit of research, you can figure out the length and style of facial hair that’s right for your life, your career, and your goals.

 So, what kind of signals does facial hair send to others?

Here’s the most basic breakdown. When you have distinctive facial hair (anything visible, even stubble), these are the traits people tend to associate with you: 

• aggression and dominance
• maturity 

A clean-shaven man, on the other hand, is associated more with the following traits: 

• sociability
• health/cleanliness

The article then goes on to talk about different aspects of facial hair:

Facial Hair and Societal Perception

Aggression & Facial Hair

Maturity & Facial Hair

Sociability & Facial Hair

Which fellow would folks feel more comfortable approaching?

Cleanliness & Facial Hair

Facial Hair and Employment

The takeaway: for job interviews, you need either a clean shave or a very neat beard. Make sure the outlines are razor-sharp (no pun intended) if you go bearded.

Facial Hair, Self-Perception, and Behavior

Beards and Sexual Appeal

We’ve saved the best for last, because this is what most of you really want to know: will a beard help you with women?

Well?

• Studies have indicated that women find facial stubble the most “attractive” look when it comes to facial hair. One study went a step further, separating “light stubble” from “heavy stubble,” at which point women found heavy stubble the most attractive and light stubble the least — call it the “no peachfuzz, please!” value judgement.
• Unsurprisingly, women found men with facial hair more “masculine” than men without.
• Likely tied to the idea that greater masculinity=better provider, women rated men with full beards as most likely to have good parenting skills.
• Clean-shaven and full-bearded men were rated higher on personal cleanliness than men with stubble of any length.

So, long story short, how facial hair will help you in your quest for love depends largely on the sort of partner and relationship you’re looking for. 

If you want to settle down and have kids, and are looking for someone that feels the same, a full beard might be best. If you’re just flirting and having fun, a few days of stubble will work better — but make sure it’s thick and even.

Here's a video to wrap things up for you:

Whenever I grow my beard, there's definitely quite a difference of opinion. Last year, for the first time I actually shaved off most of it and kept a goatee for a little while. Maybe I'll do that again this year.

Interesting days

Today - Guinea Pig Appreciation Day, Corn Fritters Day, Fresh Spinach Day and World Snake Day

Tomorrow - Hot Dog Day, Peach Ice Cream Day, Yellow Pig Day, Tattoo Day and World Emoji Day

Next Tuesday - Peanut Butter and Chocolate Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day and Sprinkle Day

Week long celebrations:

July 20 - 28: Moth Week

August 16 - Men’s Grooming Day, Rollercoaster Day, Tell A Joke Day, Airborne Day, World Bratwurst Day and Rum Day

Week long celebrations:

August 12 - 18: Afternoon Tea Week