How to Build Instant Rapport

Today's blog post is based on an article from The Art of Manliness. Since, we seem to be limiting human contact right now, this might be a good time to brush up on our networking skills:

Navigating first impressions can be a tricky business. 

On the one hand, you want to be yourself, not only for the sake of authenticity, but to allow you and the other person to accurately feel out whether or not you have a connection worth pursuing. Acting like someone you’re not for the sake of being initially charming may garner temporary success, but merely postpones the recognition of fundamental, relationship-dissolving differences. 

On the other hand, initial encounters are inevitably plagued by an atmosphere of nervousness and awkwardness, wherein small differences between the two participants, which will prove immaterial later on in the relationship, can feel outsized in significance, stymying what might develop into a strong connection. 

The best approach when first presenting yourself to another is thus to allow the fundamental pieces of your personality to come to the fore, while minimizing the minor differences between you that might lead either participant to prematurely write the other one off. 

Minimizing these small differences involves reflecting more of the other person’s way of being in the world, and has happy effects for both parties. Affinity-building behaviors will make you seem more immediately charming and likable right off the bat. At the same time, by allowing you to better enter the other person’s emotional ecosystem, these gestures help him or her to feel more comfortable, understood, and at ease. The result is a smoother interaction, a more relaxed, harmonious atmosphere in which to get to know each other, and the creation of instant rapport. 

Which behaviors build rapport?

• Match Voice and Vocabulary
• Mirror Body Language
• Dress Similarly
• Don’t Be a Contrarian

You don't want to mimic the person to the point of being farcical, but if you know the person is a banker and dresses the part, you don't want to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Or if the person is a contractor, they may dress more casually, so leave your 3 piece suit at home.

So, take a few minutes and check out the article and you just may find your next coffee meeting will be off to a strong start.

For more on this subject, check out this podcast on first impressions.

Interesting days

Today - Lips Appreciation Day, St. Urho’s Day, No Selfies Day, Panda Day and Freedom Of Information Day

Tomorrow - Saint Patrick’s Day

Next Monday - Melba Toast Day, Puppy Day, Chip and Dip Day, Ravenclaw Pride Day, Atheist Day and Near Miss Day

April 16 - Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day, High Five Day, Save The Elephant Day, Eggs Benedict Day and College Student Grief Awareness Day