Make Your Bucket List The Story Of Your Life

Today's blog post is based on an article by Harvey Mackay. This seemed like a good time to share this since I wrote about this subject last week.

You might recall the popular movie “The Bucket List,” in which two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die. The movie is about blue-collar mechanic Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) and billionaire hospital magnate Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) an unlikely pair who become friends as they undergo their respective treatments.

Carter begins writing a “bucket list,” of things to do before he “kicks the bucket.” After hearing he has less than a year, Carter wads it up and tosses it on the floor. Edward finds it the next morning and urges Carter to do everything on the list (plus a few others like skydiving) and offers to finance the trip.

I really liked that movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I suggest that you check it out.

I recently received an email from a loyal reader asking if I had a bucket list and if I might write a column on the importance of having such a list because “many seniors just live one day at a time with no long-term plan.”

I don't know about you, but I'm in that category. I don't really have a bucket list. I have some vague ideas about things that I might want to do someday but this might be a good time to put together an actual list.

Well I don’t want to be among that group, and I hope you don’t either, no matter what your age. As I like to say, don’t count the years, make the years count. I’m not ready to hang it up yet and doubt that I ever will be. I still have too much to live for. I was about to go on a round-the-world trip with my wife in late March and April, but the trip has since been cancelled due to the Coronavirus. One of my bucket list items was to visit as many countries as I could.

My good friend Lou Holtz told me that years ago he wrote down 107 things that he wanted to do in his life. He wanted to go to the White House, be on “The Tonight Show” with Johnny Carson, see the Pope, win a college football national championship and coach at Notre Dame, make a hole-in-one in golf and a lot of other crazy, but achievable things. Once he accomplished all 107 things, what did he do? He wrote down another 100 items, and he’s checking off the items on that list too.

Some people might get turned off by creating a bucket list, thinking it’s a little morbid or by creating a list that is too difficult to achieve. I disagree. I believe having a bucket list keeps you motivated and goal-oriented. If nothing else, it makes you think about what you want to do in your life.

I remember a road trip with some friends years ago when we took turns describing our perfect day. The range of ideas was remarkable, and often not what we would have predicted from each other. Our slogan from that trip became “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

I’m a big believer in writing myself little notes to remind me of my bucket-list items. For example, when I started out working as an envelope salesman, I dreamed of owning a factory. It became a reality for me at age 26. Another bucket list item for me was selling the number one envelope user in the Twin Cities, General Mills. I even put a note in my hat (back when men wore hats). It took a few years, but I knocked that one off too.

When I decided to write my first book, I put a note on my desk that said “Be a New York Times bestselling author.” That happened with “Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.” That feeling of accomplishment led me to author seven more books, including my latest from January 2020, “You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet!” That title came from a note on my bathroom mirror, reminding me that I still have mountains to conquer.

Having a bucket list drastically improves your life. It gives you a sense of purpose. I know it helps my time management because it makes me focus on my goals. I become more productive and efficient.

A lot of times people are too busy plowing through their daily to-do lists and lose track of what they really want to experience. Creating a bucket list can happen at any time in your life – young or old. It’s never too late to create a list of things you want to achieve. And while no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Mackay’s Moral: Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

What's on your bucket list? Be sure to check out the blog post linked above and to check out the post linked at the end of that one to find out more about bucket lists, dreams and goals.

Interesting days

Today -  Crayola Crayon Day, World Backup Day, Eiffel Tower Day, Bunsen Burner Day and International Transgender Day of Visibility

April will be Active Dog Month, Summer Tire Changeover Month, Poetry Month, Couple Appreciation Month, Jazz Appreciation Month, Decorating Month, Straw Hat Month, Garden Month, Parkinson’s Awareness Month, Month of the Military Child, Autism Awareness Month and Adopt A Ferret Month

Tomorrow - Fun Day, One Cent Day, Day Of Hope, Reading Is Funny Day and Sourdough Bread Day

Next Tuesday - Making The First Move Day, Beer Day, World Health Day, Beaver Day and No Housework Day

April 31 - As of now, there is no April 31st. It may just feel that way!

How to Go on a Digital First Date

Today's blog post is based on an article from GQ:

I was originally going to call this post something like "What is Zoom dating?" and then say something like "It's not like a faster version of speed dating" but there's a site called Zoom Dating which is exactly like that!

This article will be about using the Zoom video conference service for dating. If you're not familiar with Zoom, check out this post from last week.

It was a Friday night in the Bay Area, and Daniel, 25, was preparing for a first date. He fixed his hair in the mirror, put on his favorite dress shirt, made his bed (you never know), and sprayed a new cologne to set the mood. Daniel, who, like others in this story, asked to only be identified by his first name, grabbed his glass of wine and placed it next to the laptop on his bedroom desk. Then he took a seat, opened up Zoom (an app more commonly used for workplace videoconferencing), and a few seconds later, his Hinge match appeared onscreen. It was immediately clear that he and his date were not on the same page: she was in her pajamas. 

There is some etiquette for first video dates...such as dress like you're on a first date!

Last week, single folks in the United States who’d been chatting on dating apps and laying the groundwork for in-person first dates could no longer ignore the specter of the coronavirus crisis. And over the weekend, as the CDC issued instructions to begin social distancing, typical first-date haunts—bars, restaurants, music venues—became no-go zones for non-idiots. The alternative solution was imperfect but inevitable, really: Brave pioneers who didn’t want to give up on dating entirely pivoted to virtual meetups on video chat apps like Zoom, FaceTime, and Skype.

Like I wrote about last week, the preferred term is physical distancing...not social distancing. The distinction is important.

With a little creativity, you can do things like share a virtual meal together:

In Brooklyn, 27-year-old Judy Kwon spent a few days messaging a male suitor on a dating app. They scheduled a date to cook dinner together, which became unfeasible as COVID-19 morphed into a national emergency. Their initial video call was on Saturday; it was short, and leaned heavily on making funny faces to fill space. Then they talked again on Sunday. And again, for even longer, on Monday. On Tuesday night, they cooked separate meals, then FaceTimed while they ate dinner.

Maintaining routines is important, not only for first dates, but for life in general:

In Denver, Zack Newman, a journalist who’s under self-quarantine after interacting with someone who tested positive for COVID-19, matched with a woman on Coffee Meets Bagel last week, and they texted each other increasingly long messages. On Monday, they decided to attempt a FaceTime date.

“This felt like a natural next step to keep the conversation going, and to keep my own optimism up,” he says. “In these times, continuing to date in some capacity is a really hopeful act. That would assume there’s a dating future worth pursuing, and I think there is. I’m trying to embody that as much as I can.” 

Zack carried out his usual pre-date routine: A workout, a shower, and some date-worthy clothes (which he changed out of immediately afterwards). “You’re still making a first impression, and there was some comfort in that ritual,” he says. Daniel, who encountered the date in pajamas, says he put on a dress shirt and spritzed some cologne for the same reason—the ritual provided a sense of normalcy.

You can even meet in person, after your video date, if you keep the physical distancing requirements in mind:

In Lincoln, Nebraska, 27-year-old Charlotte matched with a cute guy on Tinder. A few days later, Charlotte was a couple drinks deep after a Zoom happy hour of sorts with friends. She decided to shoot her shot… by sending her Tinder match a Zoom invite. He accepted. The two ended up talking for 45 minutes, only ending when his phone died. “On the whole, our conversation flowed the same way it normally would in-person,” she says. “I made fun of him for drinking Busch Light. But at least we didn’t have to worry about who paid for what.” 

Since their spontaneous Zoom date, they really wanted to meet in-person, so they’ve been going on long walks together—while maintaining their six feet of CDC-recommended distance. “It’s wild to date when you know there’s not going to be a goodnight kiss or even a hug, and no one is going to anyone’s house,” Charlotte says. “It’s a very different kind of dating. We’re both trying to escalate the relationship as you normally would, just... during a pandemic.”

I think we're going to find this old fashioned idea of courting to be more prevalent after this crisis is over.

Of course, you'll quite possibly run into situations like this on a video first date:

But not every digital first date packs the emotional punch of a rom-com meet-cute. Afsana Ahmed, 22, has been stuck in Queens, passing the time sifting through grad school materials that hardly seemed to matter given the chaos around her. She downloaded Hinge out of boredom, and started messaging every man she matched with who claimed to be over six feet tall, asking if they wanted to Skype. Finally, a suitor said yes. 

She scrambled to get ready, putting on makeup and a cute top (paired with pajama bottoms) and positioning her laptop in front of her bookshelf, which she wanted to show off. She and her date, a man who works in finance and lives alone in Manhattan, agreed to video chat over dinner. She made pasta but he, as it turns out, hasn’t gotten groceries in a while. His meal? A Red Bull. “He told me he put on a clean t-shirt for this,” she says. “I was like, ‘Thanks.’”

I'd disagree with wearing sweat pants on the first video date...like we've talked about above putting in the effort is important. After, the first date go ahead and wear the sweat pants.

Afsana tried to press forward with normal first-date pleasantries. The moment a pause arrived, he made clear what he really wanted out of the encounter. “He was like, ‘Since we’re in quarantine, can I see your boobs?’ I said no, and he was like, ‘Oh okay, sorry,’” she says. “I wasn’t even upset. I thought, okay, this man has been stuck in his apartment drinking Red Bull for three days. He’s probably not well.”

So, what are some first video date guidelines?

If you should feel inclined to schedule a Zoom date yourself, the digital first-daters I spoke to recommend sticking with a computer rather than a phone. The only dissenter on the subject was Zack Newman, the journalist, who works with cameras and frames lots of his interviews. “I was worried that if I used my laptop, it would be at a lower angle, and that would get some double-chin action,” he says. 

Also: There’s no need to overdress, but put some effort in, at least above the waist (out-of-sight sweatpants are totally acceptable). Choose a backdrop that shows off your interests or apartment aesthetic, and, yes, you should clean up. Establish a vibe beforehand: Do you want to eat dinner together? Drink together? Watch a TV show together? And Afsana has another humble request: “Please make sure you have good WiFi. Ultimately, I could never be with someone who doesn’t have really good WiFi.” 

Again, save the sweat pants for the second date!

For singles, this time of social physical distancing, weirdly enough, offers all the makings of the kind of meet-cute that rom-coms are made of, with lengthy conversations and intense longing. On one hand, it’s impossible to ignore the heavy fact that digital first dates exist specifically because we’re all living through a pandemic. On the other hand, that very heaviness can inspire more candid conversations and ultimately, an even deeper bond. Regardless, virtual dates present an opportunity to connect with someone, and for a brief period, provide them with a meaningful distraction. Given the circumstances, distraction is a legitimately powerful weapon to pit against loneliness and despair. 

And some optimistic digital daters, like 36-year-old Brauck Cullen from San Antonio, are already planning ahead and anticipating their distant-future in-person introductions. Brauck and a Hinge match tried the FaceTime route this weekend and had a genuinely vulnerable hour-and-a-half conversation over drinks. They even managed to largely ignore coronavirus topics. “We did feel that there was chemistry,” he says. “We texted a little bit afterward—it’s kind of fun to have a little sexual tension for when we do get to meet someday.”

So, check out some of the dating sites mentioned above, such as Tinder, Match or Hinge. And then follow up with a video date using a service like Zoom, Skype or FaceTime (if you have an iPhone or iPad).

Interesting days

Today - Doctors’ Day, Take A Walk In The Park Day, Pencil Day and World TB-303 Appreciation Day

Tomorrow - Crayola Crayon Day, World Backup Day, Eiffel Tower Day, Bunsen Burner Day and International Transgender Day of Visibility

Next Monday - World Table Tennis Day, New Beer’s Eve, Plan Your Epitaph Day, Caramel Popcorn Day, Army Day and Tartan Day

April 30 - Honesty Day, Oatmeal Cookie Day, Poem in Your Pocket Day and International Jazz Day

Week long celebrations:

Apr 26 - May 2: Go Diaper Free Week

Your weekend guide to interesting days - March 28, 2020

This week

Sunday - World Water Day, Gryffindor Pride Day, As Young As You Feel Day and Goof Off Day

Monday - Melba Toast Day, Puppy Day, Chip and Dip Day, Ravenclaw Pride Day, Atheist Day and Near Miss Day

Tuesday - Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Flatmate’s Day and Tuberculosis Day

Wednesday - Waffle Day, Tolkien Reading Day, Manatee Appreciation Day and Pecan Day

Thursday - Good Hair Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, Nougat Day, Spinach Day and Purple Day

Yesterday - World Theater Day, Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, Spanish Paella Day and International Whisk(e)y Day

Today - Something On A Stick Day, Black Forest Cake Day, Earth Hour and Weed Appreciation Day

Next week

Tomorrow - Neighbor Day, Lemon Chiffon Cake Day, Niagara Falls Runs Dry Day, PayDay It Forward, World Piano Day and Smoke and Mirrors Day

Monday - Doctors’ Day, Take A Walk In The Park Day, Pencil Day and World TB-303 Appreciation Day

Tuesday - Crayola Crayon Day, World Backup Day, Eiffel Tower Day, Bunsen Burner Day and International Transgender Day of Visibility

Wednesday - Fun Day, One Cent Day, Day Of Hope, Reading Is Funny Day and Sourdough Bread Day

Thursday - Ferret Day, Tell A Lie Day, World Autism Day, Love Your Produce Manager Day, Peanut Butter and Jelly Day and Children’s Book Day

Friday - Chocolate Mousse Day, Walk to Work Day, World Party Day, Poet in a Cupcake Day, Find A Rainbow Day, Fish Fingers and Custard Day and Tweed Day

Saturday - DIY Day, Vitamin C Day, Firewalk Day, Carrot Day, Walk Around Things Day, D.A.R.E. Day, Cordon Bleu Day, Tangible Karma Day, World Rat Day and Pillow Fight Day

Next month

April 22 - World Stationery Day, Earth Day, Jelly Bean Day, Bookmobile Day and Administrative Professionals Day

April 23 - Talk Like Shakespeare Day, Thank you Thursday, Love Your Thighs Day, Lost Dog Awareness Day, World Book Night and English Language Day

April 24 - Teach Your Children to Save Day, Hairball Awareness Day, Pig In A Blanket Day and Firefly Day

April 25 - Veterinary Day, (Virtually) Hug A Plumber Day, Financial Independence Awareness Day, Anzac Day, International Marconi Day, Malaria Day, Go Birding Day, Save The Frogs Day, Sense Of Smell Day, DNA Day, Independent Bookstore Day and World Penguin Day

April 26 - Pinhole Photography Day, Get Organized Day, Hug an Australian Day, Pretzel Day, Alien Day, Help A Horse Day, Richter Scale Day and International Chernobyl Disaster Remembrance Day

April 27 - Morse Code Day, Tell a Story Day, World Tapir Day, Prime Rib Day and Marine Mammal Rescue Day

April 28 - Superhero Day, Clean Comedy Day, Pay it Forward Day, Shrimp Scampi Day, Biological Clock Day, Cubicle Day, Blueberry Pie Day and Workers’ Memorial Day

Week long celebrations:

Apr 20 - Apr 26: Stationery Week

Apr 26 - May 2: Go Diaper Free Week

The week in review - March 27, 2020

Monday - "Are you praying for a financial solution during this crisis?" From a video by Darla DiGrandi-Aguilera. "Many of us are losing our jobs or are about to lose them. Or maybe your hours have been cut back. Or maybe you'd like an additional source of income during this uncertain time."

Tuesday - "We Live in Zoom Now" What is Zoom? "Zoom Video Communications is a videoconferencing company in San Jose, Calif., that has been thrust into the spotlight over the past week."

Wednesday - "It's physical distancing...not social distancing" The words you use are important. "The wording needs to be changed so the emotion behind the words isn't affecting people badly."

Thursday - "Rethinking the goal setting process #TBT" One of my favorite topics. "Dreams are your ultimate destination, while goals are the intermediate stops along the way."

Interesting days

Today - World Theater Day, Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, Spanish Paella Day and International Whisk(e)y Day

Tomorrow - Something On A Stick Day, Black Forest Cake Day, Earth Hour and Weed Appreciation Day

Next Friday - Chocolate Mousse Day, Walk to Work Day, World Party Day, Poet in a Cupcake Day, Find A Rainbow Day, Fish Fingers and Custard Day and Tweed Day

April 27 - Morse Code Day, Tell a Story Day, World Tapir Day, Prime Rib Day and Marine Mammal Rescue Day

Week long celebrations:

Apr 26 - May 2: Go Diaper Free Week

Rethinking the goal setting process #TBT

Today's blog post was originally published last year:

Yesterday, I talked about mission, vision and purpose statements. Today, I'm continuing in a similar vein.

We're going to talk about goals, dreams and wishes, and what they mean. You may have heard this one before:

But how true is it? And what are the differences between the three?

From Time Thoughts:

Wishes 

In Achieve Planner, we use the concept of wishes to capture things that you potentially desire or want without having to commit to actually doing them. This is an important distinction because it allows you to brainstorm freely about the things you want without your judgments regarding how/when to accomplish them getting in the way.

Use a Wish List 

Your wish list is the list of everything that you may need, want or desire someday, but that you are not actively pursuing at this time. You can build your wish list first, and then prioritize and decide which of these wishes to pursue further. 

When you find a wish that you really want to accomplish, you simply convert it into a dream or goal. If you find a wish that you no longer need or want, simply demote it (give it a low priority) and choose something else instead.

Difference Between Dreams and Goals 

Dreams are your ultimate destination, while goals are the intermediate stops along the way. Dreams represent what you want and why, while goals represent your plan to get you there. 

And from Time Management Ninja, here are 10 Big Differences Between Goals and Dreams That You Must Know:

1. Goals are something you are acting on. Dreams are something you are just thinking about. Goals require action. Dreams can happen without lifting a finger, even while you are asleep.
2. Goals have deadlines. Dreams are just, well, dreams. Goals must have a deadline. They have a time limit. Dreams can go on forever. In fact, many people maintain dreams their entire lives without ever reaching them.
3. Dreams are free. Goals have a cost. While you can daydream for free, goals don’t come without a price. Time, money, effort and sweat. How will you pay for your goals?
4. Goals produce results. Dreams don’t. Want to change your life? Your job? Your status in life? Goals can do that. A good friend of mine made six-figures on the ebook he published. He did that. Had it stayed as a dream, his life would have been as it always was.
5. Dreams are imaginary. Goals are based in reality. You may dream of being Superman, but that is probably not going to happen. Goals are about what you can actually accomplish. They are grounded in the reality of our world. Goals should be big, but not supernatural.
6. Goals have a finish line. Dreams never have to end. Dreams can go on forever. They don’t have to have an ending point. Goals must have a specific outcome.
7. Dreams can inspire you. Goals can change your life. Dreams can bring you motivation. They can inspire you. But, goals can change your life forever.
8. Goals must have focus. Dreams don’t. Dreams can be drifting, ever-changing thoughts. Goals must be laser-focused. They must be specific and they must be always on your mind.
9. Goals require hard work. Dreams just require your imagination. Dreaming is easy. Almost everyone has a dream. But, fewer people have goals. Goals are hard and they require hard work. (See #3)
10. Dreams stretch your imagination. Goals stretch you. Dreaming leads to bigger dreams. They stretch the limits of your imagination. But, goals stretch you. They increase your skills, your abilities, and change you forever

Here's more on the difference between wishes and dreams from Medium:

In life, there is a very close similarity between ‘Dreams’ and ‘Wishes’. However, ‘Dreams’ are more complex than ‘wishes’. While dreams are active, wishes are passive. We are not talking about dreams as in sleeping. We are talking about being ambitious to achieve something in the future. 

Dreams usually bring about a course-of-action which gives you the mentality and the drive to aspire for something. It makes you set goals and gives you definition of purpose which enables you to work hard towards your goal. It also serves as a focal point of your life. As a popular saying that goes thus: “a journey without destination is like an animal without house.” It is your dream that gives you the passion you need to achieve your desired goal. It serves as a marker of where you intend to be in the future.

Wishes can just be a fantasy, such as wishing you could fly, wishing you were invisible, taller or shorter, better looking, etc. There are lots of things we can wish for that can never come true. But there are other things that we wish for that could come true, such as taking a trip to a foreign country, learning to speak a foreign language, having a million dollars. If we really want something, we can start dreaming about it...fleshing out the idea, imagining what it feels like, tastes like, smells like, etc. Then if we still want it, we can develop a plan to get it.

We'll go more into goals, dreams and wishes tomorrow...including the bucket list. As well as introducing the idea of outcomes. Then hopefully we'll tie it all together.

Here's the link to the final part of this series.

Interesting days

Today - Good Hair Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, Nougat Day, Spinach Day and Purple Day

Tomorrow - World Theater Day, Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, Spanish Paella Day and International Whisk(e)y Day


Next Thursday - Ferret Day, Tell A Lie Day, World Autism Day, Love Your Produce Manager Day, Peanut Butter and Jelly Day and Children’s Book Day

April 26 - Pinhole Photography Day, Get Organized Day, Hug an Australian Day, Pretzel Day, Alien Day, Help A Horse Day, Richter Scale Day and International Chernobyl Disaster Remembrance Day

Week long celebrations:

Apr 20 - Apr 26: Stationery Week

Apr 26 - May 2: Go Diaper Free Week

It's physical distancing...not social distancing

Every human being needs to read this!

It may seem like semantics, but the difference is crucial.

I first heard about this a couple of days ago from my friend Laura Ricksecker. She originated the idea but says when sharing it she found out others had a similar idea at about the same time.

I'll let her tell you about this in her own words:

Emotionally, humans and many animals need physical touch and an emotional connection with others to be happy and healthy. Asking people to stay home created physical distance from everyone except those you live with, if you're lucky enough to live with someone you love who can give you physical connection, and then labeling it social distancing imparts the feeling of emotional disconnect with others, so many singles are left feeling like they've been cut off at the knees with no physical or emotional connection to count on in stressful times. We need to reconnect everybody socially because we're lucky enough to have things like Facebook and Instagram, zoom and FaceTiming, so that we can see people and connect on an emotional level. We can also emotionally connect socially when we're out walking the dog and talk to our neighbors from 6 feet away, or talking with others when we run errands. People are not actually socially cut off during this crisis and the wording should not lead them to feel that way. We're in a big enough crisis already without opening the door and encouraging people down the path of depression and anxiety.

According to an article I recently read, 95% of Americans have mobile phones and 77% have a smartphone, so almost everybody can be reached via a phone call or text message and most can be reached via Zoom or FaceTime. Plus Facebook has 2.45 billion monthly active users, with 1.62 billion of those using it on a daily basis. That's out of a total world population of 7.8 billion!

The error in wording is obvious, and it becomes even more so when you see the distress some people are feeling. Some people are feeling profound isolation which can lead to other bad things like anxiety and depression, even though they might be seeing and talking to people more now then when they went to work! The wording needs to be changed so the emotion behind the words isn't affecting people badly.

I think it was Casey Eberhart that said "Don't let social distancing turn into social isolation" but it's easier if we call it physical distancing and not social distancing. And as Laura mentioned above, we have all sorts of tools to make remote conversations easier. In fact, I wrote about Zoom yesterday, and I'll be writing about Zoom dating on Monday.

So, let's start a movement to change the term "social distancing" to "physical distancing" and let's all thank Laura for the idea!

Interesting days

Today - Waffle Day, Tolkien Reading Day, Manatee Appreciation Day and Pecan Day

Tomorrow - Good Hair Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, Nougat Day, Spinach Day and Purple Day

April will be Active Dog Month, Summer Tire Changeover Month, Poetry Month, Couple Appreciation Month, Jazz Appreciation Month, Decorating Month, Straw Hat Month, Garden Month, Parkinson’s Awareness Month, Month of the Military Child, Autism Awareness Month and Adopt A Ferret Month

Next Wednesday - Fun Day, One Cent Day, Day Of Hope, Reading Is Funny Day and Sourdough Bread Day

April 25 - Veterinary Day, (Virtually) Hug A Plumber Day, Financial Independence Awareness Day, Anzac Day, International Marconi Day, Malaria Day, Go Birding Day, Save The Frogs Day, Sense Of Smell Day, DNA Day, Independent Bookstore Day and World Penguin Day

Week long celebrations:

April 20 - April 26: Stationery Week

We Live in Zoom Now

Today's blog post is from an article in The New York Times.

On Sunday afternoon, Eleanor Dolan celebrated her 17th birthday in Minnesota with 20 of her closest friends. They listened to pop music and traded jokes. When the group broke out into “Happy Birthday to You,” Eleanor pulled a slice of cookie cheesecake close in front of her and pretended to blow out the toothpick she had substituted for a candle on top. 

Then, she blew lightly on her computer screen. Miles away, her friends extinguished candles atop baked goods in front of them. The party was taking place over Zoom, a video calling app. Eleanor’s father briefly popped into her screen to take a photo. 

Teenagers have jokingly referred to themselves as “Zoomers” online for years; now the name is literal. Overnight, Zoom has become a primary social platform for millions of people, a lot of them high school and college students, as those institutions move to online learning.

Using Zoom is turning into a way of life during these times. But what is Zoom?

Zoom Video Communications is a videoconferencing company in San Jose, Calif., that has been thrust into the spotlight over the past week. On Monday morning, its iOS app became the top free download in Apple’s App Store.

On Sunday, nearly 600,000 people downloaded the app, its biggest day ever, according to Apptopia, which tracks mobile apps. While the stock market crashes, Zoom shares have soared this year, valuing the company at $29 billion — more than airlines like Delta, American Airlines or United Airlines.

Zoom allows you to hold meetings (and apparently parties) by video teleconference.

But why Zoom? Why not Skype, which has been around since 2003? Or Google Hangouts or Facebook Messenger or Apple’s FaceTime? They’ve all had a boost recently. 

Marco Polo, a video chat app, saw sign-ups increase nearly threefold last week over the previous week, the company said. 

Zoom is baked into many colleges and schools already that use it. The product’s layout makes it easy to talk with multiple people at once. And Zoom has some features that mirror social media apps. A button called Touch Up My Appearance casts a soft focus over the video display, smoothing out the skin tone of the presenter like an Instagram filter. Custom backdrops can hide messy bedrooms. 

Zoom has a “hotter brand” association,said Rishi Jaluria, a senior research analyst at D.A. Davidson. “Younger people don’t want to use the older technology.”

People also pick Zoom because it works. Paul Condra, a technology analyst at PitchBook, said Zoom’s reliability and simplicity has made it the “standard” in videoconferencing software.

I've been on quite a few Zoom meetings. And it can integrate with Facebook Live. Jordan Adler, for one, uses Zoom with his Facebook Lives. And I've hosted two Zoom meetings, so far.

Last Friday, our new Gold Star club held its meeting via Zoom. I wrote about the club here.

If you want to join us, let me know. I'll get you the link for the Zoom meeting and the password. You can attend for free twice. And like I said in the blog post linked above, you can join our chapter at a special price of only $99 and that covers the first month's dues also.

Interesting days

Today - Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Flatmate’s Day and Tuberculosis Day

Tomorrow - Waffle Day, Tolkien Reading Day, Manatee Appreciation Day and Pecan Day

Next Tuesday - Crayola Crayon Day, World Backup Day, Eiffel Tower Day, Bunsen Burner Day and International Transgender Day of Visibility

April 24 - Teach Your Children to Save Day, Hairball Awareness Day, Pig In A Blanket Day and Firefly Day

Week long celebrations:

April 20 - April 26: Stationery Week

Are you praying for a financial solution during this crisis?

Today's blog post is based on a video from Darla DiGrandi-Aguilera.

Many of us are losing our jobs or are about to lose them. Or maybe your hours have been cut back. Or maybe you'd like an additional source of income during this uncertain time.

That's where Darla was during the crash of '08. She was praying to find a solution to try to save her salon business. She went to church on a Sunday and that week the pastor told the story of a big flood and a man on the roof of his house waiting for God to save him. A boat, plane and helicopter were all sent to save him but each time he declined, saying that God would save him. The man drowned and when he got to Heaven the man asked God why he hadn't saved him. God said "Who do you think sent the boat, plane and helicopter?"

Darla's blessing in disguise was a man who'd been after her for four months to take a look at a business opportunity. She kept refusing, but after the sermon she agreed to take a look when he came into her salon the next time. And her life was literally changed by what she heard.

Darla then goes on to talk about how now is the beginning of a work from home revolution with tools like the Internet and Zoom.

Another tool that Darla discusses is SendOutCards. This tool can be used to build relationships with customers, no matter what business you're in, whether a home based business, such as network marketing or direct sales,  or a traditional business.

Maybe you're not interested in starting a business. Maybe you're suddenly a stay home mom (or dad) and you're looking for a way to build love, have fun and create an opportunity through building relationships with friends and family, especially during this time of isolation.

Watch the video to hear Darla tell her story and to see how easy it is to send cards. And if you're in business be sure that you keep watching past the 29:00 minute mark...this can save your business

Interesting days

Today - Melba Toast Day, Puppy Day, Chip and Dip Day, Ravenclaw Pride Day, Atheist Day and Near Miss Day

Tomorrow - Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Flatmate’s Day and Tuberculosis Day

Next Monday - Doctors’ Day, Take A Walk In The Park Day, Pencil Day and World TB-303 Appreciation Day

April 23 - Talk Like Shakespeare Day, Thank you Thursday, Love Your Thighs Day, Lost Dog Awareness Day, World Book Night and English Language Day

Week long celebrations:

April 20 - April 26: Stationery Week

Your weekend guide to interesting days - March 21, 2020

This week

Sunday - World Speech Day, World Consumer Rights Day, True Confessions Day, Buzzards Day and Brutus Day

Monday - Lips Appreciation Day, St. Urho’s Day, No Selfies Day, Panda Day and Freedom Of Information Day

Tuesday - Saint Patrick’s Day

Wednesday - Awkward Moments Day, Companies That Care Day, Forgive Mom & Dad Day and Biodiesel Day

Thursday - International Read To Me Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Poultry Day and Client’s Day

Yesterday - Hufflepuff Pride Day, Snowman Burning Day, Kiss Your Fiance Day, Ravioli Day, World Storytelling Day, Proposal Day, Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day and International Day of Happiness

Today - Quilting Day, World Poetry Day, Corn Dog Day, Healthy Fats Day, Slytherin Pride Day, International Day of Forests, International Fragrance Day, World Down Syndrome Day, Memory Day, French Bread Day and Common Courtesy Day

Week long celebrations:

March 16 - March 22: Introverts Week

Next week

Tomorrow - World Water Day, Gryffindor Pride Day, As Young As You Feel Day and Goof Off Day

Monday - Melba Toast Day, Puppy Day, Chip and Dip Day, Ravenclaw Pride Day, Atheist Day and Near Miss Day

Tuesday - Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Flatmate’s Day and Tuberculosis Day

Wednesday - Waffle Day, Tolkien Reading Day, Manatee Appreciation Day and Pecan Day

Thursday - Good Hair Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, Nougat Day, Spinach Day and Purple Day

Friday - World Theater Day, Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, Spanish Paella Day and International Whisk(e)y Day

Saturday - Something On A Stick Day, Black Forest Cake Day, Earth Hour and Weed Appreciation Day

Next month

April 15 - That Sucks! Day, Anime Day, ASL Day, Microvolunteering Day, Banana Day and Take A Wild Guess Day

April 16 - Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day, High Five Day, Save The Elephant Day, Eggs Benedict Day and College Student Grief Awareness Day

April 17 - Haiku Poetry Day, Blah Blah Blah Day, Cheeseball Day, World Hemophilia Day, Kickball Day, Day Of Silence, Bat Appreciation Day, Nothing Like A Dame Day and Ford Mustang Day

April 18 - Piñata Day, Husband Appreciation Day, Columnists Day, World Heritage Day, Lineman Appreciation Day and Auctioneers Day

April 19 - Amaretto Day, Bicycle Day, Hanging Out Day, Garlic Day, Rice Ball Day and Poetry And The Creative Mind Day

April 20 - Volunteer Recognition Day and Chinese Language Day

April 21 - World Creativity and Innovation Day, Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day, Chocolate Covered Cashews Day, American Red Cross Giving Day, Tea Day, Library Workers Day and Kindergarten Day

Week long celebrations:

April 20 - April 26: Stationery Week

The week in review - March 20, 2020

Monday - "How to Build Instant Rapport" From The Art of Manliness. "So, take a few minutes and check out the article and you just may find your next coffee meeting will be off to a strong start."

Tuesday - "SendOutCards - Your In-home Business Opportunity" SendOutCards is going virtual! "SendOutCards is changing its focus to being a home based business that can be run exclusively from home."

Wednesday - "All You Have to Do Is Ask" Yet we don't. "My guest today says you can solve most of these issues by simply asking for help."

Thursday - "#SleepAwarenessWeek may be over, but...#TBT" The power of napping. "Midday sleep appears to lower blood pressure levels at the same magnitude as other lifestyle changes."

Interesting days

Today - Hufflepuff Pride Day, Snowman Burning Day, Kiss Your Fiance Day, Ravioli Day, World Storytelling Day, Proposal Day, Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day and International Day of Happiness

Tomorrow - Quilting Day, World Poetry Day, Corn Dog Day, Healthy Fats Day, Slytherin Pride Day, International Day of Forests, International Fragrance Day, World Down Syndrome Day, Memory Day, French Bread Day and Common Courtesy Day

Week long celebrations:

March 16 - March 22: Introverts Week

Next Friday - World Theater Day, Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, Spanish Paella Day and International Whisk(e)y Day

April 20 - Volunteer Recognition Day and Chinese Language Day

Week long celebrations:

April 20 - April 26: Stationery Week

#SleepAwarenessWeek may be over, but...#TBT

Today's blog post was originally published last year:

I know last week was Sleep Awareness Week, but Dr. Breus just came out with this and I thought you might find the topic interesting.

Napping May Be As Good As Blood Pressure Medication For Lowering Your Blood Pressure

An article on Medical News Today reported that a research group from the Asklepieion General Hospital in Voula, Greece conducted a study and found that taking a nap at midday can effectively help people lower their blood pressure levels. 

“Midday sleep appears to lower blood pressure levels at the same magnitude as other lifestyle changes. For example, salt and alcohol reduction can bring blood pressure levels down by 3 to 5 [millimeters of mercury (mmHg)],” reports Dr. Kallistratos.

The article states: 

According to guidelines from the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, a person has high blood pressure if their readings of systolic blood pressure (pressure during a heartbeat) are 140 mm Hg or higher, and their readings of diastolic blood pressure (pressure between heartbeats) are 90 mm Hg or higher. 

The researchers found that people who took a daytime nap saw a 5.3 mm Hg drop in systolic blood pressure, which, the researchers explain, is about as much as someone could expect when taking blood pressure medication or making certain lifestyle changes to lower blood pressure.

Each additional 60 minutes of napping time reduced average 24-hour systolic blood pressure by 3 mm Hg. Dr. Kallistratos explains that taking low doses of specialized drugs can lower a person’s blood pressure levels by about 5–7 mm Hg on average. 

“These findings are important because a drop in blood pressure as small as 2 mm Hg can reduce the risk of cardiovascular events, such as heart attack, by up to 10 percent,” says the researcher.

And more from Dr. Breus:

You all know I am a big fan of napping, and now we have even more reason to do it! If you have not read my other blog post on napping, you might not be aware that there are 9 different types of naps. Check it out and remember to bring your eye mask to work!

Nine different types of naps?

1. The CEO nap.
2. The Nap A Latte™.
3. The New Mom nap.
4. The Sports nap.
5. The Disco nap.
6. The Siesta.
7. The Shift Work nap.
8. The Teen nap.
9. The Jet Lag nap.

Number 2 has worked really well the couple of times that I have used it. And I'm going to see about incorporating number 7 into my routine. For more on the different types of naps, check out this article.

Interesting days

Today - International Read To Me Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Poultry Day and Client’s Day

Tomorrow - Hufflepuff Pride Day, Snowman Burning Day, Kiss Your Fiance Day, Ravioli Day, World Storytelling Day, Proposal Day, Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day and International Day of Happiness

Week long celebrations:

Mar 18 - Mar 24: Introverts Week

Next Thursday - Good Hair Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, Nougat Day, Spinach Day and Purple Day

April 19 - Amaretto Day, Bicycle Day, Hanging Out Day, Garlic Day, Rice Ball Day and Poetry And The Creative Mind Day

All You Have to Do Is Ask

Today's blog post is based on a podcast from The Art of Manliness.

Are you feeling overwhelmed at work? Trying to find a job, but can’t seem to get your foot in the door? Have you been knocking your head against a problem over and over again, but haven’t made any headway on it? 

My guest today says you can solve most of these issues by simply asking for help.

His name is Wayne Baker, he’s a sociologist, consultant, and the author of the book All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success. 

We begin our conversation discussing what the research says are the benefits of asking for help and why people are nevertheless so reluctant to do it. Wayne then provides insights on how to overcome those obstacles in asking for help, the best way to formulate an ask so that it actually gets a response, and how to handle rejection. We then turn to Wayne’s research on how organizations can benefit from creating a culture of help-seeking and what you can do within the organizations you belong to to foster such a culture.

The myth of the rugged individualist makes it difficult for us, especially as Americans, to ask for help from anybody. We feel that we should be able to do it on our own. But the coronavirus is pointing out the fallacy of that idea to us at this very moment.

Here are the highlights of the program:

• What is “generalized reciprocity”?
• What keeps people from asking for help?
• How to “earn” the privilege of asking 
• The productivity benefits of asking for help
• How overgenerous givers hurts themselves
• 4 categories of givers/takers 
• What’s the wrong way to ask for help?
• The 5 criteria of a SMART request 
• Tactics of an effective ask 
• Utilizing your dormant network and weak ties
• Why your requests should be specific 
• Handing rejection 
• How companies and organizations can develop a culture of help-seeking

The podcast was really interesting. Take half an hour and check it out.

Interesting days

Today - Awkward Moments Day, Companies That Care Day, Forgive Mom & Dad Day and Biodiesel Day

Tomorrow - International Read To Me Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Poultry Day and Client’s Day

Next Wednesday - Waffle Day, Tolkien Reading Day, Manatee Appreciation Day and Pecan Day

April 18 - Piñata Day, Husband Appreciation Day, Columnists Day, World Heritage Day, Lineman Appreciation Day and Auctioneers Day

SendOutCards - Your In-home Business Opportunity

Are you stuck at home? Maybe without an income? Or maybe looking for some extra money while you're there? SendOutCards is changing its focus to being a home based business that can be run exclusively from home.

This week they're sending their support staff home to man the phones in-home. And to make it easier for new affiliates to join the in-home opportunity, they're waiving the $59 annual fee for the next 2 weeks!

Two of their next 3 events will be virtual. I've written about one of them here. Next month, a Promptings Academy was scheduled to be held in Salt Lake City. That will now be virtual. The big event that was going to be held in Dallas during Labor Day week, will now be virtual. That means the two day Relationship Marketing Grand Summit, the full day Promptings Academy and the full day SendOutCards annual convention can now be enjoyed from the comfort of your own home. The 3rd event will be another Promptings Academy in Salt Lake City in November. This one will be a live, in person event. By that time you'll probably be ready to get out of the house!

Tickets for all of these events are available...check out the links in the previous paragraph.

So, now you can start an in-home business with no out of pocket expenses, although a subscription to SendOutCards is highly recommended but not mandatory. The events aren't mandatory but I highly recommend the big event in September!

For more info on how to get started, check out this video by Jordan Adler. If you can't access the video, I'll be hosting watch parties all week, You can watch it then.

Interesting days

Today - Saint Patrick’s Day

Tomorrow - Awkward Moments Day, Companies That Care Day, Forgive Mom & Dad Day and Biodiesel Day

Week long celebrations:

March 16 - March 22: Introverts Week

Next Tuesday - Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Flatmate’s Day and  Tuberculosis Day

April 17 - Haiku Poetry Day, Blah Blah Blah Day, Cheeseball Day, World Hemophilia Day, Kickball Day, Day Of Silence, Bat Appreciation Day, Nothing Like A Dame Day and Ford Mustang Day

How to Build Instant Rapport

Today's blog post is based on an article from The Art of Manliness. Since, we seem to be limiting human contact right now, this might be a good time to brush up on our networking skills:

Navigating first impressions can be a tricky business. 

On the one hand, you want to be yourself, not only for the sake of authenticity, but to allow you and the other person to accurately feel out whether or not you have a connection worth pursuing. Acting like someone you’re not for the sake of being initially charming may garner temporary success, but merely postpones the recognition of fundamental, relationship-dissolving differences. 

On the other hand, initial encounters are inevitably plagued by an atmosphere of nervousness and awkwardness, wherein small differences between the two participants, which will prove immaterial later on in the relationship, can feel outsized in significance, stymying what might develop into a strong connection. 

The best approach when first presenting yourself to another is thus to allow the fundamental pieces of your personality to come to the fore, while minimizing the minor differences between you that might lead either participant to prematurely write the other one off. 

Minimizing these small differences involves reflecting more of the other person’s way of being in the world, and has happy effects for both parties. Affinity-building behaviors will make you seem more immediately charming and likable right off the bat. At the same time, by allowing you to better enter the other person’s emotional ecosystem, these gestures help him or her to feel more comfortable, understood, and at ease. The result is a smoother interaction, a more relaxed, harmonious atmosphere in which to get to know each other, and the creation of instant rapport. 

Which behaviors build rapport?

• Match Voice and Vocabulary
• Mirror Body Language
• Dress Similarly
• Don’t Be a Contrarian

You don't want to mimic the person to the point of being farcical, but if you know the person is a banker and dresses the part, you don't want to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Or if the person is a contractor, they may dress more casually, so leave your 3 piece suit at home.

So, take a few minutes and check out the article and you just may find your next coffee meeting will be off to a strong start.

For more on this subject, check out this podcast on first impressions.

Interesting days

Today - Lips Appreciation Day, St. Urho’s Day, No Selfies Day, Panda Day and Freedom Of Information Day

Tomorrow - Saint Patrick’s Day

Next Monday - Melba Toast Day, Puppy Day, Chip and Dip Day, Ravenclaw Pride Day, Atheist Day and Near Miss Day

April 16 - Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day, High Five Day, Save The Elephant Day, Eggs Benedict Day and College Student Grief Awareness Day

Your weekend guide to interesting days - March 14, 2020

This week

Sunday - Peanut Cluster Day, Proofreading Day, Dry Shampoo Day, International Women’s Day and Check Your Batteries Day

Monday - Meatball Day, Barbie Day, Crabmeat Day, False Teeth Day, Get Over It Day and Panic Day

Tuesday - Pack Your Lunch Day, Organize Your Home Office Day, Fill Our Staplers Day, International Wig Day, International Bagpipe Day, Blueberry Popover Day, Skirt Day, Mario Day and Day Of Awesomeness

Wednesday - World Plumbing Day, Oatmeal Nut Waffles Day and Registered Dietitian Day

Thursday -  Girl Scout Day, International Fanny Pack Day, Baked Scallops Day and Kidney Day

Yesterday - World Sleep Day, Blame Someone Else Day, Ken Day, Earmuffs Day, Open An Umbrella Indoors Day, Coconut Torte Day, Smart & Sexy Day and Jewel Day

Today - Learn About Butterflies Day, Genealogy Day, Pi Day, White Day, Crowdfunding Day, Science Education Day, Moth-er Day, Legal Assistance Day, International Ask a Question Day and Dribble to Work Day

Week long celebrations:

March 8 - 14: No More Week

March 8 - 14: Groundwater Awareness Week

Next week

Tomorrow - World Speech Day, World Consumer Rights Day, True Confessions Day, Buzzards Day and Brutus Day

Monday - Lips Appreciation Day, St. Urho’s Day, No Selfies Day, Panda Day and Freedom Of Information Day

Tuesday - Saint Patrick’s Day

Wednesday - Awkward Moments Day, Companies That Care Day, Forgive Mom & Dad Day and Biodiesel Day

Thursday - International Read To Me Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Poultry Day and Client’s Day

Friday - Hufflepuff Pride Day, Snowman Burning Day, Kiss Your Fiance Day, Ravioli Day, World Storytelling Day, Proposal Day, Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day and International Day of Happiness

Saturday - Quilting Day, World Poetry Day, Corn Dog Day, Healthy Fats Day, Slytherin Pride Day, International Day of Forests, International Fragrance Day, World Down Syndrome Day, Memory Day, French Bread Day and Common Courtesy Day

Week long celebrations:

March 16 - March 22: Introverts Week

Next month

April 8 - Zoo Lovers Day, Day of Pink and Draw a Picture of a Bird Day

April 9 - Unicorn Day, ASMR Day, Name Yourself Day, Cherish An Antique Day and Winston Churchill Day

April 10 - Golfer’s Day, International Safety Pin Day and Sibling Day

April 11 - Pet Day, Cheese Fondue Day, World Parkinson’s Disease Day, Submarine Day and Barbershop Quartet Day

April 12 - Deskfast Day, Walk On Your Wild Side Day, Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day and Licorice Day

April 13 - Scrabble Day, International FND Awareness Day and Thomas Jefferson Day

April 14 - Dolphin Day, Look Up at the Sky Day, Equal Pay Day and Be Kind To Lawyers Day